Mary Blackchurch-Woman Addicted

I have a spider that lives somewhere in my bathroom, usually I see him in the bathtub. We have developed a wary trust of one another..a curiosity one might call it. My significant other who despises and has an unnatural fear of all things ‘bug’ has called out to me on numerous occasions that “There is a big black spider in the tub..I’m going to kill it.” He knows of course that the spider and I are friends of sorts..and by telling me this he also knows I will respond; “You’d better not kill that spider, he lives here just like we do and has just as much right to the space.. in fact probably more…it was we afterall who built these things called ‘cities/concrete abodes, etc.’ and infringed on their natual habitat..so if you kill it..it’s quite simple doll..I will kill you.

Capeech..

I suppose it’s his way of letting the spider know he knows it’s there and it’s completely in his power to squash him, and that somehow, will render the spider afraid to leap on him from out of nowhere. I have to laugh at the way he comes to an uneasy resolve about my spider friend taking up residence in our bathroom. By the way, this is a very small black spider. We’ve lived in this apartment for going on 4 years now..I first noticed ’spider’ (given name) sometime during the early fall of our second year here. I think he has taught me much in the way of coexisting with another species that is inherently different to we Homeo Sapians. I don’t belong to a religious group that says one shouldn’t kill bugs for fear they are a reincarnated relative or some such thing. However I do respect all life, and as such will not go out of my way to rid the planet of them. In fact I believe I’d probably serve the planet better by ridding it of some 2 legged types I know to be the cause of strife and grief instead. But that’s another story and it doesn’t fit with my spider tale.

This morning as I was sitting on the throne and relieving myself of yesterdays waste I noticed..yet again..Spider sitting on the edge of the tub and peering at me as if to say, “How are you this day human?” I think it’s a female as I have seen little baby spiders from time to time abscound with various food bits as they scuttled back into the tub drain. Do these crumbs come from the kitchen or are they remnents of manfriends hurried coffe and cake eaten in haste whilst covering the shit, shower and early morning shave regime? In the early morning he brings all with him into this room of toilet, sink, tub and grooming accessories. Yes I know yuk..not my idea of a good eat either, nor would many admit to taking a quick bite in the loo..but it’s a true statement..and I a witness. Oh well..who am I to begrudge him where he takes his morning meal?

Anyway it feeds the spiders, so it serves a dual purpose.

 We have 7 cats and one might be thinking how does this spider escape death or safely continue to exist with all these felines stampeding around the place. Somehow I get the feeling that most cats are afraid of spiders too. Mine will watch them and maybe extend a paw while trying to ascertain what they are, but never ever have I seen them kill one. So now me thinks in the grand scheme of things.spider has cat all figured out.

This isn’t my first pet arachnid by the way…nope it sure isn’t. While in prison I was once sentenced to max (maixmum security) because of a fire that was set (no twas not me who put match to newspapers..story to come one of these days). Of a 3 plus year sentence, 2 months were done serving 23 on 24 down there..needless to say entertaining ones self without any televison..radio or the like can be just a tad challenging..but we managed. One night just before lights out I spied with my eye this little itsy bitsy spider making its way under my cell door. It held me fascinated as I thought with envy what I wouldn’t fucking give to be you right now little buddy. Soon the visits became ritual..every night just before lights out..it would come..a hurrying and a scurrying..to visit..eventually heading straight for the crumbs I’d salvaged from the days grub. No they don’t curl up at the bottom of your feet or by your side like cats or dogs..you don’t even have to cover their cages at night..but hey they make for great cell mates when the nights get loud and the company threadbare. Just knowing another life shared that cramped confining space with me during the long, cold, dark winter nights..brought me comfort  As the two months melted away and the day came for me to re-enter the prison  population I looked frantically for my little savior..but Spider 1 was no where to be found and am sad to say I never did see it again.

Who knows it too was probably condemned to max for an eternity by the arachnid powers that be.

Tha..tha..tha..thaaat’s all folks.

Don’t follow me into the abysss..this labyrithed labia of muddled thought is not for everyone. I’ve never been a stickler for age..put much credo in how old or not old someone is. I think wise people are born every nano second..and it’s up to me to understand them…not the other way around. But I will say to anyone who can hear through all my bullshit..beware oh younger opiate lover..titillator..instigator..investigator of a life worth the live…this is not a drug easily shaken..taken..it’ll eat all your bacon..and when you’re breakin..into whose scarred arms do you fall.

And to what will you wake?

I am always amazed at how the human being has adapted to its environment..if your around my age..what we describe growing up around is now the exception not the rule..almost as foreign to us as the planet mars.

Survival can sometimes be a sad prospect.

No wonder we feel lost much of the time..these things are not of our roots..not what we know to be ‘right,’ I mean down through time..this way we live and function today..it’s a relatively untested phenomenon.

Too many young people..old people..families in doorways & back allies. That too is not familiar..in this not so brave new world we’ve inherited, created.

Where is the village of the past that would instinctively & with heart look after the child who found itself alone? Invite in the family without a home..feed the man and toss his dog a bone?

Would that we could go back to our roots.